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@Retromobiles: Hi! Hope you're doing well.

After our "superglue crisis," I’ve stopped holding my phone for too long. Since I haven't heard back regarding our accepted €400 offer, I'm starting to wonder if you got caught up in the legendary Adverts Hall of Fame:

The Trade King: Offering to swap a €400 VIP number for a half-eaten chicken fillet roll, an old Xbox 360 controller with no back cover, and a half-empty tin of Dulux paint.

The Sob Story: Demanding a 95% discount because "it’s my goldfish's birthday today and he's crying," then calling me a capitalist pig when I say no.

The €20 Specialist: Agreeing on a price, making me drive across Dublin, looking me dead in the eye, and saying: "Bro, I only have a twenty-euro note and a packet of Tayto on me, take it or leave it."

The FBI Interrogator: Asking for the item’s birth certificate, its blood type, its mother’s maiden name, and 50 close-up photos from every angle, only to completely ghost forever.

The Geographical Genius: Buying a €5 item and demanding I personally hand-deliver it to the furthest corner of County Donegal by midnight tonight.

By the way, regarding that last one—I actually DO offer free delivery if you wish! 😉

I still want to believe our deal is on. Please drop a simple Yes or No here and let me know the plan!

@Retromobiles: PM sent 😉

@Retromobiles: Thank you, much appreciated. Deal accepted! 🤝 Let me know when you’re around on Thursday or Friday evening and we will get everything sorted. Have a good week! 👍

@Retromobiles: Day 2 of the Superglue Crisis... 🚑 Absolute radio silence! It got so bad the lads from the Dublin Fire Brigade had to come out and pry the phone off my hand. Finally sorted, on the charger, and I’m back online! 🔌🔋 Currently surviving on Barry’s Tea through a straw. Let me know what the plan is, before I completely lose my mind here! 😂

@Retromobiles: My phone is dying and I really can't sleep next to the wall socket all night! 🔌🔋 Glad you replied though, I thought I’d be awake until morning worrying. Any chance you could push it just a tiny bit more to an even €400? You can see yourself what a masterpiece I’m selling here for absolute peanuts! Otherwise I’ll be tossing and turning all night thinking about it, and this glued phone isn't helping me focus on the price! 😂 In the morning I’ll crawl back to the charger, turn the phone on and hopefully you will surprise me with your mercy! 🙏✨ What do you say?

@Retromobiles: Hey! Love the username Retromobiles, but I didn't think the reply speed would be just as vintage! 😉 I’ve already got everything ready and literally covered my hand in Superglue so the phone never leaves it just in case you call, but you're dead silent! 😂 Now I have to go to a mechanic shop just to unglue the phone from my hand and put it on a charger. Can’t sit next to the wall socket forever, otherwise it’ll die before you make up your mind in a few days! 🔌🔋 Let me know what the plan is!

@Retromobiles: Fair play, appreciate the fast upgrade! You definitely know your numbers. Tell you what, meet me at €400 to seal the deal right now, and I’ll get the SIM ready for you tonight. Deal?

@Retromobiles: Hi! Thanks for the offer. I know Adverts is famous for a good haggle, but I didn't realise my pricing looked that optimistic. Are you genuinely interested in the number, or are we just testing how much inflation has hit the market? 😉 Let me know if you have a more realistic figure in mind.