Roland D50

Look at her. She’s elegant. She’s timeless. She is the Roland D50, in amazing condition. She looks like she just walked out of the factory wearing heels and a satin gown, untouched by time and unboxed by angels wearing shoulder pads.

We’ve had a passionate love affair with moody pads at midnight under the glow of her green lights and her lush patches whispering sweet nothings into my headphones. I actually remember the first time I touched her…I cried. She didn’t. She’s strong like that.

I swore I'd never let her go, but life is full of difficult goodbyes, and perhaps the right suitor could sway me. But let’s be clear—this isn’t some casual fling. Lowball offers are not just offensive to me. They're an insult to our epic love story so don’t insult her. Or me. Or 1987.

So if youre ready to treat her right, with the respect and admiration she deserves, hit me with an impressive offer. Otherwise we will keep on making sweet music together.

Don’t cheapen the magic.
Bring roses.
And maybe a hard case.