Ikea Lights

€25

Every so often one must ask the complex metaphysical question: can you handle a pair of balls this big? This is your opportunity to acquire a pair of exceptionally large, heavy, smoke-tinted balls that demand attention the moment you enter the room.

Substantial Girth: These oversized, low-hanging globes emit a dim, moody glow all over your face.

Rigid Construction: Supported by thick, black textile shafts clamped firmly into brass-plated cups. This ensures that these massive units will not unexpectedly drop on anyone's face. Unless you want them to.

Classier than your mother only not as cheap.